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i use english here
because i don't need everyone understand me.
i write down these words just let myself feel better
sometimes u'll get better when u speak out

i've never think my Kiran is a bunch of resins. he is alive. i told all my friends, i could see him smile, i could feel his angry and sad. he was a very clever and lovely, but i didn't take care of him well. i haven't spent more time with him, and bought/made little things for him. i was ashamed of these and told with u and them again and again. do i really look like to pretending that anxious to make ur happy?

i felt dead when he was destoried.
i still couldn't describe what happend in that day. everything in my memory was black, i can't breath when i try to think of it. u can call me craven. i know i am the worst doll owner in this world. i don't care every blame from the world.
i know i am GUILTT. i've never forgot my RESPONSIBILTY.
Kiran should have a happy life but i let him gone.
i cried and cried, i blamed meself again and again.

yeah u said is right, i don't have engough power to protect him. i agreed that u shouldn't give Kiran to me.
so all faults are mine. that's true and i've never deny them.

i couldn't die for him and kill that baster for him. i've thought about these but did not make it come true. i still have mom who i should take care.
how could u think...that i am not love Kiran?
I"VE NEVER WANT THAT HAPPEND TO HIM.

please...... please don't think in that way
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2006.06.19